3 Steps To Finding Your Balance
Last week I wrote about the idea that Work/Life Balance might be a scam, or at least the way people look at it seems to miss the point sometimes.
This week, I would like to share a few ideas that I use to improve the balance in my own life.
Set Goals At Work
I know someone reading this is thinking “Wait, I thought this was supposed to be about balance. Why is this jerk trying to get me to work harder?”
Well, just working harder, or just doing more for your boss is not really going to help you to balance your life. But, if you focus on doing things at work that will benefit your employer and you, can improve your life, your skills, and your boss’s attitude towards you.
In fact, if you increase your value and make a few good decisions, you can in fact reduce the amount of time you need to spend at the office (or worksite, or whatever).
For example, a few years ago one of my friends found himself working as a clerk in one of the local banks. He told me at that time that he felt “horribly average.” I had to laugh as my friend is really anything but average – for one thing, he is the size of a conversion van. He looks kind of like Shrek, only less green.
Anyway, while he was working what he believed to be a dead end job he took classes in computer science at night. One day he called me and said that he had an idea. If, he said, his boss would let him write a program which would automate the creation and emailing of some reports, he figured they could reduce their current work volume by 12%.
And, he was right. The goal he set with his employer allowed him to learn about one of the computer programs his company used and then to move out of that department and into another which he liked much better. Since he made that move, I have not heard him complain once about his job. That is a huge improvement in his happiness (trust me, the whining was getting old).
Make New Friends
I know someone reading this is thinking “Wait, first you want me to set goals at work and now you want me to go out and meet people? This guy is nutz.”
Yeah, I was surprised that you spell nuts with a ‘z’ too. That is weird.
Part of the reason that many people have trouble balancing their life, and I have certainly had this problem, is that they tend to befriend the people they work with. Now, while that is a good idea as you have to work with them every day, you do need a break from them & from the conversation that naturally comes from being around them.
It is a good idea to make friends with people who do not do the same thing for a living. In fact, it is a good idea to make friends with people with which you have only a few things in common. Not just so you can’t talk about work – you can also learn new things from new perspective, and that can make you a happier person overall.
Hop On The Bus, Gus
I normally take public transportation to work for two reasons.
The first is that there are about one half as many parking spaces in town as there are people who work there. It makes parking expensive and stressful.
The second reason is that I enjoy the 45 minute ride into town. I can read, watch Twitter, and catch up with friends I have not seen in a while.
Though, there are some drawbacks. On the bus there is nowhere to go and when I run into someone who works for the same company that I do the conversation always seems to move towards work. That is what we have in common, after all.
So, lately I have been trying a new tactic in this situation. It is the same that I have been using whilst at the watercooler or whenever I see someone leering at me from my doorway.
I simply say “you know Bob (I call everyone Bob), I really am having a great day. Isn’t it lovely out?”
People like weather. The beauty of weather is that it is a subject that everyone agrees on and one that really is (usually) meaningless.
Sure, talking about the weather is incredibly lame, but saying that “no one likes rain” is like saying “everyone likes to breath.” Though we have proven that you can’t run a country on simple thinking, it is great for changing the subject on the bus.
Conclusion
Well, that is three steps. While writing this I actually thought of seven, so there will be another post next week on this subject. The thing about balance is, it seems to me, that there are so many things that you can do. But, what you can’t forget about is that you should not just keep adding to your life. When you add, you need to take away too.
And that will probably be a post in three weeks. Apparently, it is good that I read Brandon’s post yesterday on coming up with post ideas. 
Your Turn
What do you do to find balance in your life? What other steps could you take to make your life better or easier?
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Twitter: buildrankprofit
said:
Hahahaha, I’m still laughing at the person spelling nuts with a z. I mean really that IS weird! (glad you don’t do that sort of thing mate)
I like the first point. Sometimes we focus on whats important to us and forget that by making life easier for others we can in turn improve the ‘harmony’ in ours (Im still sticking with my word)
I also like the make new friends point and it actually made me think of you. Well, not just you, but all the amazing people that I feel like i know and can trust and have only really been talking with for a month or two.
I would add blogging to that making friends bit but that would defeat the purpose of it since I know you were referring to the idea of getting out of your comfort zone in general.
Its true, because sometimes we spend so long in our comfort zones that when we finally get out we realise (with hindsight) that it was never really that comfortable in the first place.
Man I come up with some profound crap when I read your posts. Thats awesome mark! (If you want a guest post from me just string a couple of comments together and …whammo!) LOL
This is one of my favourite blogs I think. Yep, definitely
.-= alex´s last blog ..SMART Goals, Small Wins, & Coconuts =-.
Ha – thanks Alex!
You made some really great observations there (can’t say that is much of a surprise to me).
I think you are right about comfort zones. Only doing things that you are comfortable with seems to be a sure path to boredom or sadness.
The truly beautiful thing about humanity is that you can almost always rely on someone in your life to help you get through the tough times. So, you can get out of your comfort zone, and assuming you don’t do anything cruel, you will still be loved.
Harmony – yeah, that is a great word for the way that we work together.
Have a great day Alex.
Twitter: jeansarauer
said:
Have you ever read Leo Babauta’s book, “The Power of Less?” He talks about identifying the essentials and focusing energy on those few things, and that’s what I’m moving towards. Not there yet
The more I get rid of activities, projects, goals, possessions that were primarily based on ‘shoulds’ and expectations rather than personal values, the easier it becomes to find balance. Again, not quite there yet but working on it 
.-= Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..Empire Building 101 Series: The Power of Pillar Content =-.
Hi Jean,
Well, I would think that we are all still works in progress. In fact, that unfinished feeling may be part of what drives us to do many of the things we do.
When we find balance, or harmony as Alex has so rightly pointed out, it will be because we have come close to having eliminated all of the ‘extra’ stuff from our lives and kept only those things that matter to us.
Have a great day Jean!
Twitter: jonprial
said:
I’m not able to take the bus where I work, but I admire that you can!
For me, the key point in making friends is to develop a network of people that you talk to about your work and their work to get more input and perspective for making your right work-life decisions. It helps in goal-setting – both for work and life.
And don’t forget that our goals have to encompass the very short term (perhaps a work or life crisis), your more general view of what you want from work (maybe job vs. career thought) and life. Long term too!
Constant communications and thinking is key.
.-= Jon Prial´s last blog ..Real Life Mentoring: Bad Advice? =-.
Hey Jon,
The bus is great, though riding it does include a few negatives as well. We can save those for some other time.
That is a good point about the friends you have in your industry. I do think that having some who are disconnected from that is more rare and just as needed.
I like that you mentioned communication and goal setting, both of which will be included next week.
Have a good day!
Twitter: kruby
said:
Hi Bob!
(just kidding, Mark)
I think it’s really important to have a balance in your life, particularly in today’s go-go-go working environment. We need to de-stress somehow and spending time with our friends and family is a great way to do that. Have you thought about getting off the bus early and walking a few blocks to work? Now that the weather is nice (esp. where I am – summer is here) an early morning walk to work is wonderful to prepare me for the day. You should try it out.
Karen
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Seven Friends That You Need In Your Life =-.
Haha – Hi Karen,
Oh, you mentioned my favorite thing about morning. I do exactly as you describe during the warm months.
This morning was especially good. I have gotten to know a few of the vendors and other people who are always there in the morning. Just getting some exercise and saying hello to these very nice people really improves my day.
Great suggestion Karen!
Have a great day!
Twitter: TheJohnSoares
said:
Mark, I really like this post.
I’ve focused on meeting new people over the last few months, people different from my usual circle. I also strike up more spontaneous conversations with strangers.
It’s been very interesting and stimulating.
.-= John Soares´s last blog ..6 Ways to Save Time With Errands =-.
It is funny that my Mother used to tell me not to talk to strangers because I have found that many strangers are really very nice.
Now, don’t get me wrong here, I do draw the at strangers with weapons. I do not talk to them very much at all.
Gaining a new or unexpected viewpoint has really improved my outlook on life. Highly recommended!
Have a great day John!
Twitter: ralphcarlson
said:
I think that changing the way you define yourself is essential to getting your life balanced. If you identify yourself with your job (as I did for 30 years) it gets your life all warped. There was no balance and my definition was created by someone else. My job really wasn’t me but it limited what I could imaging being. Now I make it up as I go along. Filling out a bio the other day I listed my business as ‘relationship builder’. Where did that come from?
.-= Ralph´s last blog ..How do you manage time for new projects? =-.
Hey there Ralph,
That is a really great point & somewhat similar to my closer for next week, so thanks for the added work
You are right, though, it is really easy to adopt an identity, or even a world view, that you did not create or want. With everyone (even those mean bloggers) vying so hard for as much attention as possible all of the time, it is no wonder that we sometimes end up in places we did not expect.
Excellent thoughts Ralph! Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: worthytips
said:
Balancing in life always needed because we must do thing to satisfy us not because other doing the same. I really love the first story, it’s productive and shows how people should care on whatever they are doing.
I try to make lot of friend through commenting and through tweeting. Good thing is, in online finding good people is lot easy I thing specially when you don’t move outside much like me.
This is really a great reading and some nice tips to increase productivity in our real life Mark! Thanks for this.
.-= Arafat Hossain Piyada´s last blog ..Download Windows Firewall Controller for Windows 7 =-.
Hi Arafat,
Thanks for the comment! I am also a big fan of the Internet for connecting with people we may otherwise not have a chance to meet. Also, reading other people’s blogs helps me to learn things I never knew I was interested in. Very helpful!
Have a great day!
Twitter: sallyneill
said:
Hey Mark, I must admit I do tend to make friends with people I work with and who have similar interests, so that’s my new goal today, make friends with people who I don’t have so much in common with.
I can never settle in a job for more than a year, I get itchy feet all the time, so I think I should perhaps have a little think about what I really want from life before I can find a happy balance.
Sally
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Five Commandments Of Blog Hopping =-.
Hey Sally,
It is great that you are willing to try new things!
I originally started this blog for very non-blogging reasons, but then I noticed that bloggers are all so different in their motivations, abilities, and lifestyles.
I thought (not out loud) “I wonder if I can learn about other people doing this”. So far, this has been an amazing experience. And, to the point of this post, it has helped me find more balance in life.
Have a great day Sally!
Twitter: hulbertlee
said:
Hello Mark, these are some good ways to find balance. Thanks for sharing them. For me, finding balance is finding the time to write freelancing articles and blogging. This is one category. And then separating this to not being the computer at all which can be anything from going outside to run, playing basketball at the park, etc. This is something I strive to find balance for everyday because I can’t just do one or the other. Kind of random I know sorry. It’s good to hear that you take the bus! I had to do this almost everyday when I spent about 11 months in Taiwan last year.
.-= Hulbert Lee´s last blog ..Kim Maglinti – Blogger and Creator of Mindset Success Coaching (Interview) =-.
Hi Hulbert,
No reason to be sorry – that is a great addition! I think that anything that is athletic will help you to achieve balance because it forces you to focus on something that is very much in the moment.
Also, getting away from the computer for a while is an absolute must for me! My eyes start going crazy after a while.
Have a great day!
Twitter: darrenlcarter
said:
Hey Mark,
Good post (I liked the other about work/balance too). I really like that you included meet new people in this. That is such a great part of life for me that I it pretty much is one of the goals I have in my life. Good job including stuff that isn’t normally on a tips about work/life balance article.
Peace,
Darren L Carter
.-= Darren L Carter´s last blog ..Experiments in Lifestyle Design: Internet Business from Rural Japan =-.
Hi Darren,
I appreciate you saying that – I really did not want to just write the same stuff everyone else does about w/l balance. And, of course, you are right – we are social creatures & meeting new people and building relationships is always rewarding.
Have a great weekend!