Is Work/Life Balance just a scam?
In many cases Work/Life Balance is talked about as if it is irrelevant, not taken seriously by employers OR employees, and not a good fit for workers anyway.
Is Work/Life Balance just a scam?
What is Work/Life Balance?
But what if you love what you do at work? Then again, what if you don’t?
In my experience, some people just don’t want to stay at work any longer than they have to. They don’t enjoy their job and wish they could be doing something else. But, what would they be doing otherwise?
The Fundamental Flaw
I doubt I would. In fact, I doubt many people would. The opposite of working is not actually not working. The opposite of working is hard to describe in English (see grammatical error in the previous sentence) because it is not possible. No matter what happens in our lives we humans need to do something to survive.
Work/Life Balance is often mis-characterized as a balance between what someone does not like (work) and what they do like (life). But what is life other than time in which we do stuff, which includes work? And, aren’t there other things in life that are unpleasant?
If I won a million dollars and decided not to ‘work’ tomorrow, I would not; indeed, I could not, just sit around waiting to die. I would do the things that I have always wanted to do, which includes starting a non-profit organization to fund research aimed at destroying poverty. That is my childhood dream, and I would love to do it, but it would still be work.
You might be asking yourself (or me, but I can’t hear you so that would make no sense) – What is wrong with the Work/Life Balance idea that causes it to seem to be so ineffective?
Some people say that we don’t need it because people should just do what they love. Are they wrong?
Do We Need Work/Life Balance?
What we really need is to do the following:
Do something you believe in for your job. This is required. You will never feel balanced if you do something that makes you feel like you are not important. Who wants to waste most of their waking hours?
Take breaks from your work whether you want to or not. This is also required. You need to be able to break away. It will help you to stay creative, and it will also help you keep the people around you from resenting your work. Success does not mean destroying relationships.
I think that a big part of the reason for unhappiness in our work lives is that work is a misunderstood concept. We don’t all want the same thing out of our lives, so how could there be a one-size-fits-all solution to worker dissatisfaction?
Actually, perhaps the reason that the concept of work is misunderstood is because the concept of life has so many definitions. It seems like everyone has their own idea of what a good life is like.
If you want real Work/Life Balance, you are going to need to define both work and life for yourself and then make both of them what you want them to be. No one else can do this for you.
Conclusion
We have so little time, and work seems to take some of that away from us. Why waste that time on anger?
Over the next couple of weeks, I will be writing about some of the ways that I achieve a little bit of balance in my life.
Your Turn
Related posts
- When Is Doing Something Well Not Enough? Now.
- 5 Ways to Cover Up The Crazy and Make Friends At Work and Online
- Iron Man, Backgammon, and You
- The Latest Thing To Solve All of Your Problems
- Selling Rapture Insurance – Creative Thinking For a New Age
Twitter: jeansarauer
said:
If I won the lottery, I’d still write/blog so life wouldn’t change much. I value a simple life, so I’d want to maintain that plus travel a bit. I do love writing, and if I don’t watch myself, it can quickly take over the bulk of my time. Right now I’m in a mode where I’m trying to be more conscious about working during the morning hours and then taking several hours to “have a life” outside of writing/blogging. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ve found the perfect balance yet, but I’m working at it.
.-= Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..The True Story Behind Virgin Blogger Note’s New Look =-.
Hi Jean,
I hope you do win the lottery! My guess is that what allows for balance in life changes everyday.
Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: jonprial
said:
You are on to something about the root of the balance discussion often being about good (life) vs. the bad (work) and that work shouldn’t have to be bad. We spend too many hours of our lives working that it should be an imperative to find something that can make you happy and something you can build a career from.
But even with that perfect job most still need what completes them on the life side: family, friends, personal time. That balance then becomes a personal choice to be made (for both the short and the long term)
And all of this should never be taken for granted. Looking forward to your future posts on this.
.-= Jon Prial´s last blog ..Real Life Mentoring: Bad Advice? =-.
Hi Jon,
I completely agree. I had a ‘training’ class about work/life balance a while back and it struck me that even the presenters seemed to be viewing it as a life vs. work thing. It just did not make sense to me as it seems like a bit of an apple and oranges comparison.
Anyway, thank you very much for stopping by!
Twitter: gupshupblog
said:
Hello mark
I liked your dream and I would do same as you would when I will win such a big amount
When it comes to Balancing Life/Work , I always remember Blackberry’s quote “Do what you Love and Love what you do ”
Taking break I feel is very important , but too much of coffee is not good for health also
Thanks for such nice info
.-= Sunil Jain´s last blog ..HTML5 : What? Why? How? and When? =-.
Hey Sunil,
Great point about coffee, but it is still great!
I like the quote you mention, it seems like a good first step to happiness.
Have a great day!
Mark,
I would not quit working either. However I would become more mobile. I would blog while I traveled the world with my dogs.
One luxury or our industry is that we can pack up easily. Just need an internet connection!
Great post!
If you get a chance, stop by my site.
My Latest Story
Hey Scott,
Yeah, wouldn’t it be great to travel the world? I do love that idea, though I really hate to fly.
Ok, I will stop by later today.
Twitter: ralphcarlson
said:
It is funny for me to think about your question because I am retired and setting off on a new career with a goal of making money on the web. I could do nothing but after years of doing what someone tells me to do I am thinking for myself. Stumbling too..
.-= Ralph´s last blog ..Will you lead? =-.
Ralph! Welcome to ibb- I really appreciate you stopping by.
Excellent point & good for you! Being able to do what you want to do & being able to do it well must be gratifying! I took a look at your blog (the ‘Will you lead’ post) and it is really nice. I like the way that you look @ leadership. Have you been to nicholascardot.com? Nick writes mostly about leadership there & his writing is quite good.
Have a great day!
Twitter: Brandon_Connell
said:
I think my balance is off whack! I am working 24/7. I think if I were to win all of that money, I would blog daily still, and make that money work for me 10-fold. Not trying to be greedy, but I know how billionaires get where they are.
.-= Brandon Connell´s last blog ..Networking secrets from a celebrity pr consultant =-.
Hi Brandon,
Its funny – I was just reading your post from today. I can not say that I would blame you for still working – everyone needs goals, even rich people.
Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: buildrankprofit
said:
There is no such thing as a work life balance, you are right there. The scam is in the word balance. I think a more appropriate phrase would harmony. I say this because my work life throws everything else out of balance, but when I get the harmony (read mindset and attitude) right – things are just easier.
Did that make any sense or did I just go so Confucius that it was lost? hahahaha I do that a lot
.-= alex´s last blog ..Shattering the Duplicate Content Myth =-.
Hey Alex –
I like the word harmony for this – a lot! Very insightful comment – or, at least it makes sense to me…
Have a great day!
Twitter: socialsammy
said:
Mark your post is spot on!
Alex – I love the word harmony – it sums up the fact that you can work bloody hard but it’s more about how you are internally…
I work a lot! I have a full time job that keeps me away from home about 11 hours a day, I help organise a bi-annual event & I’m trying to kick start a business into action on the smell of an oily rag.
Up until recently my life was painful – I was working insane hours trying to tick everything off my epic to-do list…I woke up hating the thought of leaving my bed and at night I went to sleep thinking “f#$k my life”.
Why…because the 11 hours a day I was spending away from home was heading me in a direction I didn’t want to go in…as a result my inner harmony with life was massively out of whack.
What’s changed….
I have been able to incorporate my passions for design and social media/marketing into my 11hours away from home, I have realigned the structure of my bootstrapping startup, and I’m still working on the event (which I always loved).
But more than any of this I’ve changed the way I think about what makes a good day – it’s not about how many things get ticked off from my to-do list –
As of very recently I’ve also stopped aiming to have a good “day” – I now try to have “good weeks” – that way when things fall into tomorrows to-do list I don’t get stressed about it.
Do I have a perfect work life balance – hell no! Am I happy – absofrickenlutely!
As you so rightly said mark – do something you believe in for your job…
.-= Sam´s last blog ..My Take On TEDxSydney =-.
I really like the way that you changed your experience by deciding to do so. We spend a ton of time, especially at work during projects, worrying about details. We seem to think that the more control we have over those details, and the better we can plan to get things done, the better it will work. To do lists to the nth degree.
That works sometimes, but not always. You can’t predict some things & feeling comfortable during all of that is something that is not easy to achieve.
Now, I do think that there are some drastically important things that a to do list can do for you, and doubt we could live in a world without them. But, what you describe is great way to achieve balance.
Fluidity and prioritization are key ideas when dealing with massive amounts of work & still feeling some balance in your life.
In the end, work/life balance really is about being happy.
Excellent thoughts Sam! Thank you very much for reading and the comment!
Twitter: socialsammy
said:
Prioritization is one of things I’m still working on – completely understand the importance of it but easier said than done…any tips or pointers?
Currently reading “Getting things done” – by David Allen – it’s getting me half way there…but would love your insight.
.-= Sam´s last blog ..My Take On TEDxSydney =-.
Twitter: jblack2012
said:
This post really hit home with me, so much in fact, that I will leave you with a post that one of my college professors told me years ago:
“Your job is what you do, but your work is who you are”
I think that we should all try harder to focus more on our work, then there is no more trying to balance anything. Every day becomes play. You don’t have to worry about taking a vacation, because you are always doing what you dreamed about.
-Joshua Black
The Underdog Millionaire
.-= Joshua Black | The Underdog Millionaire´s last blog ..7 Insane Customer Magnets That Even My Dog Wouldn’t Touch =-.
I really like that quote and the idea that every day could become ‘play’ is really at the heart of what I was saying.
You don’t have to love every minute of your day, but why not try to enjoy as much of it as possible?
Its great to see you here Joshua. Have a great day!
Twitter: mikeroosa
said:
Work is my escape. It’s really become my hobby in addition to my job. I am a programmer in my real job and all this internet stuff is just for fun.
.-= Mike Roosa´s last blog ..Making The First Dollar =-.
I know what you mean Mike. Free time does not have to be spent staring at a wall. The hard part is finding time for the things you enjoy when working 60, 70, or 80+ hours per week @ your day job.
I appreciate you stopping by. Have a great day!
Twitter: hulbertlee
said:
If I won the lottery, I would probably keep half of it and donate the rest to helping others, whether that would be helping my relatives who do not have the same privilege of living in America like I do or helping homeless people who don’t even have homes at all.
Right now, I’m writing in my blog to encourage, motivate, and inspire people that we can overcome our greatest obstacles, challenges, and problems in order to achieve our dreams. In some way, I think that is helping the online community.
Anyway, I enjoyed this post. Make work enjoyable or a passion, and work and life will be pretty much the same thing. Thanks Mark.
I think you are right – the writings of bloggers does seem to, in some way, help a certain group of people.
One thing about worklife – I believe that when one talks about them as if they are comparable (e.g., apples vs. apples) that is when things get confused and people get unhappy.
If we look at work as one of the many parts of life, and stop trying to balance what are essentially two very different things, it becomes easier to be happy (at least in your job).
Thanks for your thoughts Hulbert – I appreciate your visiting. Have a good day!
Twitter: darrenlcarter
said:
Really great post.
In my opinion I think Work/Life balance is needed when you do something you don’t like. For me all my passions in life tend to blend together to form…Life. Included in that are work of all kinds, learning, playing. I say find what makes you happy and go with that. If it isn’t making you happy then change something.
Peace,
Darren L Carter
.-= Darren L Carter´s last blog ..Why You Should Jump Off A Cliff… =-.
Hey Darren,
I think you are on the same track as me, though I think that balance is needed all of the time. At least in my life, I have noticed that I tend to get tired of things, even if I was really excited about them a few days, hours, or minutes before. So, I tend to not enjoy constantly doing the same thing.
Perhaps that is what you are getting to – variety is required. Work/Life Variety. I like it.
Great to hear from you Darren!
Twitter: baileying
said:
Nice post Mark,
Really made me think for a while.
I think so many people who “hate” their jobs seem to get stuck in a cycle that they feel that they cannot change it. For reasons ABC they convince themselves they could not leave the work even if they don’t like it.
Being able to get that harmony is great and it’s always your own responsibilty to actually achieve it. Making the most of your day at work always starts with your attitude right?
Also the point about doing something you believe in makes such a difference in helping to do the best in it. Great point Mark.
Catch up soon
Bailey
.-= Bailey Ing´s last blog ..Anyone Else Feeling Overwhelmed? Three Simple Strategies To Get You Back On Track =-.
Cycles – yeah, that is exactly what it is like. I don’t know that you can escape them, though I do think that you can reduce the time that you don’t enjoy as much. Very thoughtful – thanks Bailey.
Have a good day!
Twitter: iGottaThink
said:
WOW! Win the lottery…. what would I do if I was a winner. The first thing I would do is hook up my church and the bible camp. Then, I’d make sure my Dad could retire. I’d make sure we were debt free. The kids definitely would want to go on vacation, of course so would I. There are so many organizations I would want to become actively involved in.
Literacy for children, food for the poor, slaughter of endangered animals- I really love ‘big cats’ and mountain gorillas; all of these causes have organizations that work toward a better future. I would want to be involved in that.
So, as I travel to West Africa for Safari, I would be also looking into the poaching problem and the mutilation of innocent unsuspecting women and children. So many horrid things happen there everyday that the rest of the world either are unaware or uncaring.
Big Cat Rescue in Florida would definitely be a place to stop by and get involved while visiting the Wonderful World of Disney. There are groups in some of the southern states that collect books and shoes for children in area that are below poverty level. Some are affiliated with local food banks and some are not. To pick up some .10 books at the library spring sale would be a great investment for the future of America.
Overall I would help out my church, my family, and the rest of the world. One continent at a time.
Ha. You have a whole plan. I sure hope you win so you can do it all.
Have a great day!
Twitter: MooreofAndy
said:
For me doing anything (whether you classify it work or life) is about self-fulfilment. Having a sense of accomplishment through doing something well (or at least giving it a good crack) is my vibe.
If I happened upon $10 mill I wouldn’t change this attitude but I’d say it would enable me to channel my energy into less selfish, more philanthropic projects. e.g.if I didn’t have to ‘work’ to be able to feed myself, I could ‘work’ to feed others. Would I dedicate as much time to it the latter if I was rich. For sure (might work a little harder on my golf game though).
Hey Andy,
I can really relate to your way of looking at work/time. Sadly, I don’t think that any amount of lottery winnings + time would help my golf game.
Have a great day!
I think that the idea of work/life balance is so popular because many people are working jobs that they hate. I am currently one of those people, and this was my motivation for starting a blog. I want to do something with my time that I enjoy, that is informative and helpful to others, and may also some day replace the time spent in my life doing something I don’t like.
I also agree that it is important to define what it means to you to have a “good” life. For much of my life I believed that working 40 (or more) hours per week should be the primary focus of your life, because it is what my parents did. It was not until I myself was working a full-time job and struggling to find time for things in life that were important to me, that I realized this was not what I wanted for my life. I am slowly but surely working toward that goal.
Thank you for an interesting and thought-provoking article.
Courtney´s last [type] ..Stress- Portrait of a Killer – Review
Your first sentence said it all, at least from the point of view of the person who is unhappy with their work/life balance. Of course, not everyone is unhappy with their job – there could be other reasons they need to find balance. Perhaps they have a sick relative or some interest/dream that requires a bunch of time.
No matter what it is, I think that people can find balance if they look at their time for what it is. We don’t HAVE to work the job that we do. We don’t HAVE to make whatever dollar sum we do. We choose to, and that choice makes us responsible for our situation. Recognizing that and then taking charge of making the changes that we need to get what we want is, I believe, the start to a much happier life.
Thank you so much for stopping by Courtney!